anita ivette ferrer
thursday, november 05, 2009QUERY LETTER, Arise From Your Grave!
When the roller coaster car of life suddenly plunges to the bottom, few dare to embrace, fathom and explore those valleys with verve and passion. Catastrophic illness takes us to the farthest reaches of our selves. Since writing the journal entry lyrics of “Tell Me, Tell Me” almost fifteen years ago and then producing a song from them, I have often asked God “why?” and “Do you love me?” Every person, when faced with inexplicable evil or a seemingly random personal tragedy or injustice groans deeply within himself, asking the Almighty, “Why did You let this happen to me?”
As I grapple for the third time with a life-threatening illness called Lyme disease, (and now Mercury Poisoning and provoking a secondary ailment called Dystonia), God leads the way through my agonizing labyrinth of doctor’s visits, uncomfortable treatments and exceedingly slow progress. The Christ journey is a challenge as is without having the extra burden of the weight and distraction of intense daily and humiliating pain.
Pain has been my companion since a teen-ager, having been raised by a violent, mentally-ill mother and then dealing with the stigma of being a bi-racial student in school. My solace was my cats and writing poetry, essays and short stories in my journal. Since those early writings, my love for language led me to write for my high school literary magazine, a local newspaper column and poetry competitions. Later, my work was published in Transparent Christian and The Poettree e-magazines. My writing has groomed me to be a problem solver. My thoughts form organized strategies and I’m able to focus on a winning plan. Then I pray and seek God’s wisdom. This is my success. When a Goliath opposes me; I grab my spiritual artillery and lunge forward. I prevail each day from my kneeing position and decreeing my victorious battle cry!
As the years of my life in Christ unfolded, I’d noticed my trials getting more and more difficult. In a juvenile manner, I wrestled with God, yelled at Him and sulked. More recently, Pressing into Him with all my might and passion, I learned too acquiesce and found that when I did, He would reveal great things to me! It is for this reason that I write this book to people enduring chronic and terminal illness.
I’m alarmed to hear about and find so many people struggling with illnesses of every sort. I myself have fallen into chronic illness often, despite taking good care of my body and exercising daily. Many with my condition are disabled and worse yet, have died. Who better to write a book about celebrating God through great emotional and/or physical suffering?
God has given me spiritual treasures to cherish as I find my way through this Lyme disease maze. Equipped with my Associates degree with a major in Communications and Advanced literary studies, I feel qualified to present this recovery chronicle of scripture passages, lyrics, beautiful nature and flower photography in the hopes that they will assuage the often all-encompassing pain and isolation many sick people endure.
How do I continue aspiring to finish recording two albums, a book and teach workshops to young women/people from challenged backgrounds? My regimen is grueling, but I endure the stifling heat of the infra-red sauna, jumping rope for a half an hour and swallow the many Lyme and oral chelation supplements day after day? There is no easy way to way to recovery. It is a long, disciplined process and many have not the determination to see victory through.
I continue to hear about and meet productive and amazing people dying of cancer, PSP, Lyme and the myriad diseases that assault with devastation. These victims must choose to fight or (be victimized) surrender. This prayer and comfort journal is for those who will trust God, apply Biblical principals to every area of their lives and are open to learning all they can about treatments options and adapting a transformed lifestyle. There is no “quick fix” for a chronic or terminal illness, but there is hope!
I see my own recovery as unfolding like a rose in bloom. Each petal opens, one day at a time and I receive His grace, wisdom with each healing declaration prayer sufficient for my individual journey. Each person’s walk will be different, but if we allow Him into every aspect of our trial, He will decorate our spiritual house with the most precious design and standard! Some of us will take longer than others to leave the desert, but while I am there, I ask God to maximize my gifts and potential. I anticipate a great harvest, for He is my reward. He will be yours too!
Filled with faith and expectation, God’s people need only walk closely with the King believing that by Jesus’ stripes we are healed.
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